Text (NIV). I’ve also looked at other versions like the NLT and ESV:
3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5 The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7 Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. 8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
9 No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, 10 and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.
11 As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. 12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. 13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. 14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. 15 Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.
16 If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need (1 Tim 5:3-16 NIV).
Criteria for selecting widows
Pastor, “I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism” (1 Timothy 5:21)
The widow must meet the following criteria. If you have doubts, ask clarifying questions.
- She is really in need (verse 3). She is unable to meet her basic needs such as food, basic clothing, or medicines. This woman is really struggling and is too old or sick to work to meet her needs. We are not talking about widows who just want to have a better life but ones who are really struggling with the basic things we need to survive. Housing/shelter shouldn’t be a concern unless the widow truly has no relative (including in their village of origin) with whom they can live or doing so would be biblically unwise (not just inconvenient). In 1 Tim 6:8, Paul says, “But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.” The Lord’s prayer ask’s us to pray for our daily bread.
- She has no relatives to help her and no pension or source of income. For example, she has no children or grandchildren, or they have abandoned her to suffer (verse 4). This means not having children or grandchildren who are able and willing to help. If there are relatives who are able but unwilling to help, we need to know why they are unwilling. She has no family support or any other means of support. She also has no pension plan or one that is wholly inadequate.
- She is “a true widow, a woman who is truly alone in this world” and “has placed her hope in God. She prays night and day, asking God for his help” (verse 5). Women who are known for their prayer and reliance on God. Thus, our little help would be an answer to their prayer to God.
- She doesn’t live for pleasure (verse 6). “The widow who lives for pleasure is [spiritually] dead even while she lives” (NIV).
- She is over 60 years of age (verse 9). If she is younger than 60 years, a written exemption must be received for her to be helped. However, being over sixty is just one criterion and meeting it doesn’t mean a person qualifies.
- She’s too old to work and provide for her own needs. This is an implication of the age 60 that Paul includes. However, as noted above, just being over 60 doesn’t qualify a person. She must be unable due to age and health considerations to be able to work at all or do enough work to meet her needs. If she’s over sixty and has the health of Caleb (Josh 14:10–11), then she doesn’t need any help. Being over 60 is necessary but not sufficient to qualify. They also must not be strong enough to work and meet their own needs and have no children or other relatives that can help. They must also not have a financial source like a small pension plan that can help unless such help is wholly inadequate. In rare situations, exceptions may be made for slightly younger widows in poor health who meet the other criteria.
- She was faithful to her husband (verse 9). This is required but not enough because as the Lord Jesus taught us, even tax collectors take care of their family members (Matt 5:43-48). They must have served the body of Christ.
- She is known for her service to others. She is “well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality [kind to strangers], washing the feet of the Lord’s people [served other believers humbly], helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds” (verse 10, NIV & NLT). She’s helped others either through church involvement or community service.
- She is faithful to God: Those known for their devotion to God and good works.
- She has served the church for a long time: To capture the spirit of Paul’s text, I suggest that the widow should be one who has served the Lord faithfully for 15 years or more. A good way to view this program is like a pension for widows who have served the Lord faithfully for many years and are old or sick and unable to provide for themselves and have no husband or relatives to provide for them. It’s a recognition or honor given to them for years of service. It’s not just a help but a repayment to them for their years of service to the Lord. The ESV version says, “Honor widows who are truly widows.” (verse 3). This is like the honor children are to give their parents in their old age for raising and serving them by providing for their parents needs when they are old. Please see discussion of length of service below.
- She is not being cared for by other Christian women (verse 16). If there are people in the church that you can encourage to help these widows personally, please do that and don’t use these funds for that. Someone may be able to let such a woman live with them and share their food.
**Note that these criteria don’t say she was a Sunday school teacher or read her Bible daily. While those things are vital, they are not markers of spiritual maturity or love for God. A qualified widow may not even know how to read and may have been with the Lord for decades but has never read the Bible by herself since she can’t read. What she knows she has learned at church but has practiced it and shown the fruit of love for God and one’s neighbor.
**Are there some widows you’ve seen in your church or ministry that you believe we should help but the above criteria may keep them out? Note, we aren’t trying to help everyone. We don’t have unlimited money. We are essentially wanting to give “prizes” to a few who have served God in an exceptional way, not to help everyone. That’s God’s job. I see this as a few very hardworking students winning a competitive scholarship. There are many others who can use the help, but few win it. Please correct my thinking if this is wanting.
Questions:
- Who decides which widows qualify? First, the local pastor, then the team seconds it by reviewing their testimony.
- Who decides how much money each widow receives? The local pastor (and his elders). Then, they must justify it and prove that it went to those widows.
- How many widows do we support at each church? Currently, we give a fixed amount per qualified widow, up to 3 per church. When this money is given, the pastor and elders use that money as they see fit to serve the number of widows submitted or more (if there are other needy widows in the church). The church will add whatever God provides for them to what they receive from us and use it as the Lord leads them. Then they will write a report and send it to us detailing how the money was used.
- How much money is given per widow, and how often? The amount is decided yearly, so please check with the group. As a reference, the amount was 100,000 CFA per widow for 2025. It’s given once per year.
- Can goods be bought and given to the widows instead of cash? No. We insist that the church give money (not goods or services) to the widows with the money received from us. The church can serve widows with goods and services that they raise if they choose to do so.
- What about faithful widows who are abandoned by husbands who aren’t dead? Those may be considered if they are over 60 years of age and can’t work to provide for themselves.
Why not focus on younger widows since there are often many?
A faithful pastor suggested the following:
I wish to say that by my experience (of about 30 years in ministry in the church), and a few years in Shaping Destiny, I have observed that there are some young widows who are more needy than many widows who are above 60 years. In this category are those who have very young children who need to be fed, clothed, and sent to school, but have been abandoned by their husbands’ families, and their own families are also unable to take care of them. More especially those young widows who are genuine Christians and are facing the same challenge I’ve just mentioned above. It must be also noted that our social context is very different from the one apostle Paul was writing from. More especially in Batibo, it is generally not easy for a young widow to remarry in Batibo. Hence, a young widow who has little children and is determined to serve the Lord is bound to be married to the Lord and do all in her power to singlehandedly bring up her children, since she isn’t ready to compromise with the normal sinful ways of the society. In my opinion widows like these (for the sake of the innocent children, and their total commitment to Christ and the Church need to be helped by the church, even more than many who are above 60 years. Thank you.
My (Kenneth) Response
Pastor, thank you for the excellent suggestions. You make a strong case. I agree these widows ought to be helped by the church. However, I am not sure if our small effort should start with prioritizing them directly.
I consider their children to be fatherless. Thus, the church can help their children as fatherless children with a mother who cannot help them. When we start partnering with the pastors to help orphans, I can see them being qualified. Shaping Destiny has helped such children in the past.
However, for the mothers, even though I understand their situation and that even helping a mother can help many children, focusing on them is not the kind of widow ministry I think Shaping Destiny should prioritize. Again, our partnership with pastors doesn’t limit them to our criteria with the help they give to the saints with the portion of the funds raised by the church. The pastor and elders can decide that.
I think Paul wants to honor widows who have spent their lives serving the Lord and they don’t have a pension to care for them in their old age. God doesn’t owe anyone help but he certainly promises to serve his servants who have served him for years and are in need. I am not saying that there aren’t younger widows who are more needy than the older ones. That’s to be expected. The older widow is more likely to have their own small house (that the husband left behind) than the younger widow who may be living in their father’s home.
However, I see our ministry as helping the few widows that have served the Lord and are needy and should be receiving retirement benefits but aren’t.
Paul said the younger widows should remarry. Of course, he knew that not most younger widows can easily remarry. But they have the strength to work for their own food and potentially marry if God allows. Their children can be helped and even they but I don’t think that’s the focus of Paul and that’s not our focus.
Having said that, the suggested criteria did say in rare cases—very rare cases, a younger widow who can’t meet her needs can be helped. In that case we need to approve as with all the other cases but such approval as of now will be rare.
Younger widows also can be helped by having some children live with relatives. I grew up living with other people who weren’t my parents. When shaping Destiny ran a foster care system, we helped many Christians take and live with children who weren’t their own and love and treat them as their own.
And note that if a pastor doesn’t have such widows in their church or nearby community, they can still partner with us to serve orphans.
And we should note that 60 years for Paul’s day is more like 70 years today because the advent of antibiotics and modern medicine has increased life expectancy in most places. Thus, when we maintain 60 years, it’s like going with 50 years in Paul’s day. Again, age isn’t the only criteria. Being over 60 is necessary but not sufficient to qualify. They also must not be strong enough to work and meet their own needs and have no children or other relatives that can help. They must also not have a financial source like a small pension plan that can help unless such help is wholly inadequate.
Length of service
To clarify the age criteria and ensure that with it goes the implication of having served the Lord faithfully for years, it may be good to add that such a widow should be one who has served the Lord faithfully for 15-20 years or something like that, with exceptions possible if we approve.
The rationale is that we don’t want anyone thinking that if someone gave their life to Christ at 59 and was on fire for God for a whole year, they should be treated as the widow who has been faithful to God for years and served the saints or church faithfully. Everyone who is suffering and poor, even men, should be helped by the church when it can, I’m just considering being more specific with that to increase the chances of identifying the right candidate. I’m sure there are some sick men who served the lord faithfully even as pastors or missionaries who can’t care for themselves and are more needy than some older widows because they may not even have children who can help a little bit (e.g., Paul didn’t marry). But we aren’t talking about them now.
Paul certainly has longevity of serving God in mind even though he doesn’t represent it with an estimated years of service. What do you guys think of specifying some estimated length of time and then making exceptions as needed?
Something important that Paul doesn’t say in this passage is that women who have never married but devoted themselves to serving God like Paul should be considered in this situation. Paul encouraged people not to marry if they could manage it. No doubt, Paul would say a worker deserves his wages and that includes women workers for God. I wonder why he doesn’t mention them here nor mention those single men like him who chose to dedicate themselves to serving God. He also doesn’t mention widowers, men who have lost their wives and can’t work and are older. It’s not that Paul would oppose helping these people as needed. But I guess that he might mention widows over 60 because they devoted their young years dedicated to serving their husbands who were the heads of the family and weren’t planning for their own futures. A single woman who dedicated their whole life to serving God knew they had to trust God but also plan for their old age. The married woman served her husband and relied on him. The younger windows Paul commands to marry (if they can) or work and plan for their future. This doesn’t mean they won’t suffer more than some widows over 60 years of age.
I’m just thinking. I could be wrong. If you have some thoughts that would correct mind, please share.
